New York City. The place I have been calling home for the past 18 years. I have a love and hate relationship with my city. I feel like from the outside, people have one notion about it but from the inside it’s a whole different ball game. In Joan Didion’s essay, she wrote “I would stay in New York, I told him, just six months, and I could see the Brooklyn Bridge from my window. As it turned out the bride was the Triborough, and I stayed eight years” (227). Now, I have been living in New York my entire life and not one day goes by where I think of moving away. She explains how she wanted to stay in New York for six months but instead it turned out to be eight years. A lot of people could relate to that one simple quote. Anyone can, even if you lived here your whole life or you just moved here. New York has a lot to offer and there are things that I have not seen before. The more involved you get with New York, the more you see, and the more you’d want to stay here. I live on 163rd (Washington Heights) and the New York Presbyterian Hospitals have lots of branches; They have the Psych Institute, the Children’s Hospital, etc and etc. Recently, I went to the Psych Institute to look for volunteer work and I have encountered something I have never seen before. It was a seating area, not just your normal chairs and benches; it was huge white blocks with an array of pretty flowers painted on them. There were tables spread all throughout the street and seating areas next to these tall beautiful glass buildings. Along with gardens filled with beautiful bright green plants. Man it was just amazing, I was amazed. Now I know what you’re thinking, “you lived there your entire life and you never seen that side before?” but if you lived the way I lived, you would discover things across the street you never even knew about. That made me stop and think about the wonders of New York and what have I not seen. It made me change my mind about leaving New York and it gave me a different perspective on life. Now I too, just like Joan Didion will stay more than I anticipated.

There was a time in my life where I dreaded New York and would have loved to get away from everything and everyone. It was summer of 2018 and my parents started to give me more freedom. My freedom wasn’t freedom but for me it was freedom. If that doesn’t make sense then you never had strict parents. Summer of 2018 consisted of me going to downtown 42nd street almost every weekend, going to concerts, meeting celebrities I liked and etc. Meeting celebrities and going to concerts meant escaping my bubble that is Washington Heights and going to new places like 14th street, the east side of town and places only the rich middle class people have been to. I thought I was living the life. That was when I thought my chapter with New York was over and I wanted to explore new towns and new places. However, my life in New York was not over just yet. The summer of 2019 was the same as summer 2018; Concerts, meeting celebrities and etc. Only difference was, my destinations were places I have been to but never really explored. It was July 23 2019, and it was a PRETTYMUCH concert, a boy band you probably never heard of, and they were performing at the Hammerstein Ballroom at Manhattan Center. The day was probably one of the best days of my life. The music was amazing, the choreography was amazing, the scene of everything was breathtaking. I love the feeling of the music being so loud you can feel the bass in your chest, that’s my favorite part of every concert I go to. But one thing that sticks with me is the people. Some people come from different states just to see these people perform. I have met people from Chicago, San Francisco, Pennsylvania, and etc. It amazes me that they come all the way to New York just to see a concert. I always ask them what’s their favorite part of New York and most of their answers were 42nd street. If you are or are not living in New York the one question you’re probably wondering is “what is so good about 42nd street?”.

In Megan Daum’s essay, My Misspent Youth, she writes “I’m always amazed that massive, ornate residences like 838 West End Avenue, with its yellow façade and black hieroglyphics, or 310 Riverside Drive, with its gargoyles and cornices(1)” and to me shes amazed by the architecture and the little details of the buildings she has seen. This relates to how people and myself view 42nd street. To those who have lived here longer than I have probably think of 42nd street as nothing special. To me it’s all about the glory of it all. I am amazed at the difference of 42nd street from 6pm to 3am. At 6pm it’s crowded and you can’t really see how bright the lights illuminate the street since the sun is still out. At 3am it’s like a ghost town but the lights act like the sun. Every store in closed and there is barely anybody outside. The only things visible are the huge billboards that have the newest ads, the bright signs of stores, the buildings and the different shapes of the buildings. Things like that amaze me. How some of the signs blink and other signs have missing letters that have broken lights, the way the signs are positioned; whether it’s horizontal or vertical. It’s always the little things and I think Megan Daum expresses that in that paragraph and it’s why she has such an attachment to New York. She has taught me to enjoy it while I can which is why I have the love and hate relationship with New York.

Now that you know why I love New York, lets talk about why I hate New York City and what makes me want to leave. Joan Didion’s essay and Megan Daum’s essay both bring out the good memories of New York. I have had some pretty bad experiences here as well. Now it’s not anything horrible like someone robbing me or anything, even though that has happened; it’s all about the scenery and the memories. Living in New York is all fun if you have money. Now for the poor middle class and lower class it’s all about hustle and getting work done. I know people who enjoy New York but also people who can’t even afford to pay rent here but they still manage to live here in the city. For the poor people, New York is all about work, taxes and bills. Where’s the fun in that? Unemployment rates are increasing due to this pandemic, how will people pay their bills now? See that’s the thing, New York is so overpopulated, in my opinion, that once something tragic like this happens, the more people working the more people get fired or are forced to be unemployed. I feel like more people have more opportunities living elsewhere.

I know I’m probably contradicting myself but I’ve come to the conclusion that New York to me is a whole world of opportunities that has yet been discovered. I have never been outside of the city so one can never know what opportunities are out there. I never realized that until the summer of 2019. A lot can happen in just a year or two. It’s important for me to write my experience because it made me realize that I have a whole life ahead of me and it’s up to me whether I want New York in or out of it. Writing this essay made me think about the good of New York and how I still don’t know the city let alone the entire state. Writing down all my experiences was a reminder that everything has a deeper level and everything can be looked at in many different ways. I have been to 34th street numerous times and on July 23rd that was my first time ever visiting the Hammerstein Ballroom and it was an experience I would never forget. Exploring the east side trying to meet celebrities was an eye opener because I have met people from the West Coast, seen graffiti art work on walls I have never seen before, and new streets I have never been to before. I have been to tons of museums I never knew existed. New York has taught me that life is what you make it and never hold back. It has taught me that life is all about experiences and it is what you learn from those experiences, good or bad, that makes life worth it.